Lovers of licks

“He’ll stop when things get better,”

The self deception every battered female has uttered to herself or others concerned for her well being. The numerous times they have been hit and have hidden (or thought they have hidden) their bruises from the world. I remembered the above said by Angela Bassett playing Tina Turner on “what’s love got to do with it?” when Ike Turner beat her and dragged her up the stairs. I was thinking, “Oh you poor thing…” and shaking my head at poor Angela/Tina, both old enough to knock sense into my young brain where love is concerned. I was thinking, you poor girl. He’ll never stop until you stand up to him, and thinking ironically, she’s so young and sweet: She doesn’t see it.

No matter how much you tell someone that the relationship they are in is not doing them any good, they will listen to noone except for the voice inside their own heads. So do we leave her be until she comes to her senses?

I guess the real question is, how do you get someone to use their head? Do you tell them outright? If you think about it, the poor woman is scared out of her wits if she hasn’t already left a man who is wounding her outright. Fear is paralysing, especially when it stems from someone you are emotionally attached to, so your ability to act may not manifest itself if you are flinching at every startling sound. So the first step is to recognise the problem as a genuine, reparable problem. Then, actually having the courage to change a situation… This is the tricky part. Maybe fighting back might actually do more harm than good, but running from a man is not recommendable, especially since you may be forced to do it for a very long time. But I deem it preferable to taking abuse from someone who claims to love you and to be doing the best for you. This the part that should not be. Violence can never be a way to show love. Never. I shudder to think it, but maybe the victim triumphs if she (or he. You never know) is killed while standing up for herself. Opting for change is better than altruism, even when your precious children are involved.

The best that can be done is to treat this problem before it manifests. Respect for one another, respect for women as partners and not as possessions is the key. But we always think that it is always the man who is at fault where respect between partners is concerned but the fact of the matter is that we are all capable of inflicting pain on others and of this we must always be mindful with our actions.

To this effect, Florence and the machine:

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~ by louella001 on November 26, 2011.

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