Her disapproval

I don’t think there is one girl who has never felt like her mother would like to trade her in for a better one. I am sure we are mostly wrong in what we think other people think.

Her Disapproval

Even as it goes unsaid

I thought there was nothing about me my mother didn’t hate.

I couldn’t get a man, couldn’t do “my” dream job by any rate.

I used to wonder if she had a chance, if she would send me back.

I know better than to allow my mind down that kind of track.

 

How could I know she just wanted better for me?

She didn’t want me to beg or struggle without money.

I guess she didn’t want me to live too long with honey.

You often wonder if the bitterness spreading around inside you

Was prompted from the outside

Or if it all comes from within…

Well, it doesn’t make much sense dwelling on that now does it?

Maybe if I had just done what I was told.

I wouldn’t be here, not sure to have bread every day,

And have nobody with whom to grow old.

 

Yes, I have some unwanted things in my chest,

But this is not in the slightest a jest when I say

To be happy today, tomorrow, or any other day,

I have learned to be grateful for what I have got.

And what I have not.

 

If you had told me ten years ago that I would be here,

I would have laughed and laughed,

Oh dear!

How I underestimated this world

And myself.

I may not have turned out the way she wanted,

But I am sure that she isn’t all that disappointed.

I may be alone, independent, defiant and loud,

But even as she corrects and reproaches

My mother is damn well proud.

 

Louella Mahabir

4th. March, 2013

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~ by louella001 on April 4, 2013.

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